Enjoy a few texting stories from the characters of Emma. (Miss Bates armed with a cell phone…now that’s dangerous!)
MissBates: EMMA! SUCH GOOD NEWS! MY JANE TEXTED! I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TO HEAR HER TEXTS. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER NOW SO I CAN READ THEM TO YOU?
Emma: Hi Miss Bates! Remember I showed you how to turn off caps lock?
Now’s not a great time. Maybe later? Can’t wait!
MissBates: YES BUT THE LETTERS WERE SO SMALL! SO I TURNED IT BACK ON! HELPS EVERYONE TO SEE MY TEXTS, YOU KNOW!
I’ll JUST TEXT YOU HER TEXTS THEN, SHALL I?
TEXT YOU HER TEXTS! ISN’T THAT FUNNY? THERE SHOULD BE A SHORTHAND WAY TO SAY, “ISN’T THAT FUNNY?” DON’T YOU THINK?
Emma: LOL, just forward them to me! No need to type them all out! I know that’s a hassle!
MissBates: FORWARD? I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! BUT NOT TO WORRY! I’LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!
SO FIRST JANE SAID, “HI AUNTIE.” ISN’T SHE SWEET, INITIATING THE CHAT. SO THEN I SAID, “HI JANIE.” SOMETIMES I CALL HER JANIE, YOU KNOW, SINCE SHE CALLS ME AUNTIE. THEN SHE SAID, “HOW IS HIGHBURY?” SHE’S SO THOUGHTFUL LIKE THAT, ASKING ME ABOUT MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS. SO I SAID, “GREAT AS ALWAYS! HOW WAS THE PIANO RECITAL?” SHE’S QUITE THE PIANO PLAYER, YOU KNOW. HER PLAYING IS ENCHANTING. THAT’S JUST THE WORD EVERYONE WHO HEARS HER USES—ENCHANTING. WHY, JUST THE OTHER DAY, MRS. GODDARD WAS SAYING TO ME, MISS BATES, YOUR JANE’S PLAYING IS JUST ENCHANTING!
Emma: So enchanting! Super sorry to cut this short, but the mailman just pulled up with a package. Ttyl!
Miss Bates: DID HE? I’M LOOKING OUT MY WINDOW, AND I DON’T SEE HIM, DEAR. BUT MY EYES, YOU KNOW!
YOU’LL TEXT ME LATER TO HEAR THE REST? I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS MESSAGES FROM JANIE!
Emma: Absolutely!!
Miss Bates: I REALLY DON’T SEE HIM ANYWHERE! ARE YOU SURE?
***
Harriet: Have you read Elton’s latest riddle? It’s—what’s black and white and red all over?
What could that be?
I think it’s a zebra with a sunburn!
Emma: Harriet. It’s a newspaper. Everyone’s heard that joke.
Harriet: But newspapers aren’t red, lol!
***
Knightley: I know you love gossip.
Emma: Not true. I like sharing information.
Knightley: So I’ll give you some. Martin’s going to ask Harriet out.
Why aren’t you responding? Aren’t you excited?
Martin’s super smart. That’s a score for Harriet.
Emma: What’s that supposed to mean? Harriet’s super smart too.
***
Harriet: Oooh, or a skunk that painted itself red!
But why would it paint itself red?
***
Emma: OK, well, maybe she’s not SUPER smart, but she’s nice. And pretty. And just all around great.
Knightley: Right. So’s Martin.
Tell me what you’re not saying, Emma.
Emma: Martin’s, like, a participant. But maybe Harriet can do better than “participant.” Maybe she can get the bronze medalist. Or the silver. Or the gold.
Knightley: She cannot get the gold.
***
Harriet: Maybe it means old TV. You know, like when TV was black and white?
But then why would the TV be red?
Oh! Because later it’s in color!
Elton is soooo clever!
***
Emma: OK, well, the bronze. She could maybe get the bronze.
Knightley: Emma. I don’t know what you’re up to, but I don’t like it.
***
Miss Bates: I WENT OUTSIDE TO CHECK MY MAILBOX AND IT WAS EMPTY!! ISN’T THAT STRANGE? ANYWAY! TALK TO YOU LATER! THERE SHOULD BE A QUICKER WAY TO SAY THAT—TALK TO YOU LATER—DON’T YOU THINK?
***
Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts below.
Or read some past texting posts here:
P & P, P & P again, then P & P AGAIN (love that book), Persuasion, and one more Emma.
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