Such I Was: Excerpt and Giveaway!

After three years of effort, my current work in progress, Such I Was, is nearly complete! I have shared one or two excerpts from it before, but I would like to share a passage below. And at the end, there will be a giveaway!

In this variation of Pride and Prejudice, after Jane follows Bingley to London she gives up on the idea of ever marrying, and Elizabeth realizes that saving Mrs. Bennet and her sisters from the hedgerows will be up to her Sadly, she realizes she will have to marry for money, not for romance. She is in this frame of mind when Darcy makes his infamous Hunsford proposal, and she accepts him, allowing him to believe that she returns his affection.

After they are married Elizabeth comes to see Darcy’s better side and legitimately falls in love with him. But this wouldn’t be a P&P variation if Darcy didn’t discover her deception sooner or later. After the wedding, Jane visits Pemberley and ends up being there at the same time as Bingley. A new courtship ensues, but it is cut off when- but you’ll have to read that for yourself. 😊 I hope you enjoy this excerpt!

Scene: outside Darcy’s office at Pemberley. Elizabeth has gone to tell her husband that Jane has refused Bingley’s proposal when she hears Bingley himself speaking inside the room.

As she approached the doorway of the room she heard Bingley’s voice, loud and distressed, coming from inside. She stopped in her tracks.

“There were tears in her eyes, Darcy. Dear God, those tears! She loves me but she will not marry me! And I can only blame myself! What a fool I was, to listen to you instead of my own heart!”

Darcy’s voice came to her ears next. “I have already apologized for my interference, Bingley. If I could undo the harm I caused in January, I would.”

So Bingley had made it to her husband before Elizabeth did. She could picture the scene inside Darcy’s study almost as well as if she were there herself: Darcy sitting behind his desk, his back to the windows, with his overwrought friend pacing to and from across from him. Bingley spoke again.

“I wish I had married Jane months ago, when she still needed me! Now, thanks to your wife, she need not marry at all!”

“Steady on, my friend. What has Elizabeth to do with this?”

It was as if Bingley did not hear him. “Do you know, I wish Jane had accepted me for my money! At least then I would have her! She and I would be living as man and wife by now, and I could take all the time I needed to convince her that I am worthy of her affection!”

“Take caution in your words, Bingley. I do not care for what you are insinuating!”

“Oh come, Darcy! Do you really think your wife cared for you before you proposed?”

“What the devil is that supposed to mean?” Darcy snapped, irritably.

“Anyone with eyes in their head could see Elizabeth only tolerated you last winter! How she made sly remarks at your expense! My sisters were appalled when they heard of your engagement, and I myself could scarcely believe it! How the tongues of Meryton must have wagged!”

“I take offense at that! Whatever Jane’s reasons for refusing you, they have nothing to do with Elizabeth.”

“You can tell yourself that if you wish. But Jane herself did not deny that Elizabeth’s motive for accepting you was to better her family!”

There was a pause, the length of one heartbeat. “Miss Bennet said that? I do not believe you! You will not accuse my wife of such a gross falsehood!”

“Ask Elizabeth herself, if you dare. She saw that Jane had lost her chance of marriage, so when you proposed she did what any woman would have done. She made exactly the same choice her friend Mrs. Collins made!”

Elizabeth, listening intently, could not help wincing. There was another pause, slightly longer this time. Then Darcy said, with barely concealed anger, “Bingley, stop. I may have done you wrong, but this is too much. I will try to forget the insults you have leveled here; you ought to forget them as well.”

Bingley exhaled loudly; Elizabeth could hear it even from outside the room. When he spoke again, his tone was more measured. “I apologize, Darcy. I will be off to the inn at Lambton as soon as I can gather my things.”

“That is not necessary, Bingley; I am not sending you away. Stay, and let us discuss this in a more rational manner.” Despite his courteous words, Darcy sounded unhappy at best.

“I cannot; you know I cannot. I could not possibly stay here, when seeing Jane every day would be torture!”

“If you feel you must leave, I can make your apologies to Elizabeth on your behalf.”

“I cannot remain under the same roof with the woman who rejected me and still call myself a gentleman!”

“If that is how you feel, I will not try to persuade you to stay.  I hope that we will meet again under happier circumstances.”

 “That is not likely. You have the woman you love, while I have nothing.” The bitterness in Bingley’s voice was unmistakable. “I sincerely apologize for any breach of civility on my part. Pray extend my regrets to Mrs. Darcy, and accept my best wishes for your future health and happiness.”

Bingley left the study so quickly that he nearly collided with Elizabeth, who had been listening intently, and was not expecting his immediate exit. Only a hasty step backwards prevented him from running headlong into her. Bingley did not look at Elizabeth. He went down the short hall, turned the corner, and was gone.

What do you think will happen next? Will Darcy confront Elizabeth with Bingley’s accusations? Can Elizabeth keep this situation from getting any worse? If you’ve been reading along with this story on darcyandlizzy.com, how did you feel when you read Bingley’s conversation with Darcy? I’m eager to hear what you think!

Now, for the giveaway. Everyone who leaves a comment will be entered into a drawing for a free copy of Such I Was when it is released. Three winners will be chosen! Drawing will be held on March 17^th and announced March 18^th, so be sure to comment to have a chance at winning! Good luck to everyone!