My father in law passed away exactly a month ago today, following years of declining health and increasing discomfort and pain. He was a good man who loved his family, someone I considered a “quiet hero.” He did his best to support his family day after day, without theatrics or demands for recognition, and he loved the people around him as much as he could. We could use a lot more men like him in this world! His death has made me reflect on fathers and the influence they have on their spouses and children.
Jane Austen had a lot to say about fathers in her books. She gave us a mix of father figures, each with their own quirks and flaws, each one showing us different sides of paternal love and responsibility.
Sir Thomas Bertram from Mansfield Park seems like a pretty typical father for his time, serious about family honor, doing his best to keep order and discipline in the home. He was strict, and his children were a little afraid of him, but they valued and respected him. He clearly tried to behave in a moral fashion, though his children did not always appreciate his efforts.
Mr. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice was noticeably different. He was sarcastic and witty and probably a lot of fun to be around, but he was not the best at looking out for his family. He let each of his daughters chart their own course without much in the way of guidance, and his family was nearly ruined because of his inattention. Elizabeth loved him but even she, his favorite child, recognized his faults. By the end of the book I’d like to think that he learned his lesson and became a better influence on his children, but the text suggests otherwise.
We never get to meet the Dashwood sisters’ father in Sense and Sensibility. Mr. Dashwood’s death left his wife and daughters in exactly the position always feared by Mrs. Bennet- with little income, having to leave their home and friends and adopt a lower standard of living somewhere new. Their struggles without a father show that sometimes even a bad father might be better than no father at all.
Mr. Woodhouse from Emma is one of Austen’s more controversial fathers. Some people view him as a tyrant for his unreasonable demands on Emma and other people around him, but I don’t hold that against him. Like many elderly people he is set in his ways and finds change upsetting. He can also be painfully stubborn. But there is no doubt that he loves his daughter, and sometimes he tells her things she needs to hear. Emma’s devotion to her father is touching and her care for him gives us the first clue that Emma is capable of true sympathy for others.
We see little of Catherine Morland’s father in Northanger Abbey, but we know that he is the father of ten children, that he is sensible and kind, and that he provides for them the best that he can. Those are excellent traits in any person, especially in fathers.
Sir Walter Elliot, of Persuasion, is probably my least favorite Austen father. He has the faults of many of the other fathers on this list (vanity and obstinance) but few if any of their redeeming qualities. He plays favorites with his children and seems oblivious to anyone’s interests but his own. I doubt if anyone would pick him to be their father, if they had a choice.
Of all of the people listed here, my father in law was probably the most like Mr. Woodhouse. They shared an advanced age and frailty, a resistance to change, and a love for family. And a certain fascination with food. 😊 My father in law also had some of Mr. Bennet’s mischievous sense of humor and a twinkle in his eye. I can only hope that I was able to imitate some of Emma’s tenderness and care for him.
Which of these fathers do you relate to the most? Are there other Austen fathers, whether good or bad, you think should be mentioned here? Please share your thoughts in the comments below!
Leave a Reply