By Alice McVeigh
#MariannebyMcVeigh #historicalfictionnovel
My first experience of being bombed was on holiday in Israel, when very young, when the Six-Day War broke out, and the hotel just across the road from us got bombed. (My family flew out the next day.) My second bomb was in Belfast, in the 90s, during the “Troubles” when the IRA decided to target an army headquarters, demolishing it, about 100 metres away from where I was carrying my cello to an Ulster Orchestra rehearsal. As I halted, the road trembling under my feet, the woman passing me in the other direction didn’t miss a step. “Sodding bastards!” she huffed, and stomped on. (I admire the Irish. They take life in their stride.)
We live in turbulent times at the moment, and that also includes publishing. Which, with AI, hasn’t got any easier, while the rise of AI has recently seen me banned from Facebook, no less. (YES!!!! Facebook’s AI bots – whom Meta now uses, in preference to paying real live humans – has kicked me out, for no reason, after eighteen blameless years. They won’t say why, and there is no appeal… and no, you couldn’t make it up…
As for novels, for genuine creatives – such as every Always Austen author – it’s certainly getting tougher and tougher. For at start – and I apologise for making you cough with laughter over your morning cereal – There’s still these crazy lies about books. Such as the one that says:
- AI can write a decent book.
It can’t. It still can’t. It writes like rubbish, because most people write like rubbish and it’s been trained on most people.
It might be able to, one day, however, which is a good reason to publish now before it can. 😊
2. Novel-writing is an easy route to making a fortune (esp. with AI).
To be fair, this particular lie has always existed, and is mostly the fault of the media who – rather than highlighting those many worthy mid-listers who write great books but never make the New York Times bestsellers list – prefer to feature Stephen King’s private jets and J.K. Rowling’s Greek island hideaways.
Well, (COUGHS) I’m an author who actually owns a Greek island hideaway – it’s on Airbnb, fifty metres from the Med. – but not because of my novels. Instead, we own it because (a) my husband was an only child, (b) we already paid off our own mortgage by the time his parents passed and (c) we didn’t know what else to do with his inheritance.
Looking back fifteen years, a REALLY BRIGHT couple of Londoners would’ve bought a couple of run-down inner London flats, renovated them, sold them, and made loads of £s with practically no effort, in order to buy a slightly less run-down couple of London flats to do up and flog for even more £s, and so on, and so forth. We actually play tennis with a couple who’ve practically made a career out of a similar inheritance. They now live in a stately English mansion with a mega-cinema in the basement… But no, we fatheads fell for the view! (Here, if interested: https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/24388568 )
3. The next lie: Sheer hard-headed determination and hard work will make anyone a successful author.
This one’s tough because… it’s partly true. In other words, sheer determination and hard work are important, but you’ll still have to have been born with more talent in your little finger than most writers have in their whole bodies. Unless you can honestly say, as P.G. Wodehouse did, ‘I was a writer from the age of five. I don’t know what I was doing before then. Just loafing, I suppose” you’ll get somewhere with decades of effort, but not where you really want to be.
“What do I need to do to become a successful novelist?” I get asked now and again. (Don’t know why I get asked, as I was losingmoney, and hand over fist, until my third novel, but there you are. People’s perceptions are mostly at war with reality!) But my answer to “what do I need in order to be a successful novelist?” – is exactly as it would be if the person wished to be an international supermodel or a musical prodigy – “Choose your parents wisely”.
Cheekbones like supermodels’ aren’t just sheer dumb luck, you know. 99.99% of us are born non-symmetrical. Naomi Campbell, by contrast, is a crazy outlier: her features are perfectly symmetrical. You can’t buy symmetry. You can’t fake symmetry, either. It’s either there, or it isn’t.
As for music, every prodigy I’ve ever accompanied – from my humble position in the orchestral cellos – including Yehudi Menuhin and Vladimir Ashkenazy – was born to play/compose. Mendelssohn wrote his first violin concerto at twelve, by which time the still more annoying Mozart had prob. dashed off a couple of operas. Camille Saint-Saens, aged just ten, had a party trick: he asked his audience to choose one of Beethoven’s 35 piano sonatas, which he would then perform – from memory. But – you’re about to complain – choosing your parents is not possible. Very true.
There are two other ways to succeed financially at writing (should your parents have excelled, but not at writing). The first is non-fiction. Non-fiction can definitely sell, BUT you need, not only the mega-hard work already mentioned, but (a) an estimable platform (b) a unique point of view plus (c) a podcaster’s charisma, in order to sell it. The NYT non-fiction bestsellers are crammed with books by people doing this.
The second way is sex. Erotica sells.
The only loaded author I know – she doesn’t even bother with Amazon; instead, she owns her own warehouses – churns out erotica. Articulate, hard-headed and fearless, she spoke at last year’s London Book Fair, where she was mega-frank. “Romance is OK but far too competitive these days,” she told us, “but if you can nail erotica, and sell your books from your own website, you keep 100% of the royalties, and every time you put out another book, your bank manager screams with joy.”
However, I’m not into erotica – just not my kind of thing – and I somehow doubt it’s any other Always Austen author’s, either. As we know, Austen wasn’t even very keen even on romance, and tended to dodge it whenever she could. She’d have been lousy at erotica. Prob. even worse than yours truly, the undersigned.
I comfort myself with the recollection that even Austen made peanuts during her lifetime (she moans about this, occasionally, in her letters). I also tell myself: Quality over quantity. Life is short. Let’s hang in there, accepting that we’re not going to make a fortune, enjoy what we’re doing, and do what we can do well.
Finally, as this is my last column here, I want to thank Regina, for taking a chance on a then-unknown Austen-inspired author, and for putting up with my frantic “Oh God, is it this week?” and others of my many ADHD annoyances. Regina, you’ve been amazing.
Secondly, would like to thank you all for being so welcoming, generous and helpful – Riana Everly especially, who has become a very close friend, and who, with her husband, have visited us in London.
I shall miss, in no particular order, except for the first:
- Regina’s authoritative knowledge and thoughtfulness
- Cherith’s “down-to-earth” common sense
- Bethany’s quirky, clever insights into Austen
- P.O.’s lifelong experience and marketing nous
- Riana Everly’s quickness and wit
- Collins’s stylish writing and academic impressiveness
- Amanda’s passionate love for Austen
- Mel’s refreshing honesty
- Don’s flair, good nature, and historical meticulousness
But have enjoyed you all, and (I hope) have supported you with “likes” and comments. My email is on my website, where you can also sign up for my monthly newsletter, if interested, here: https://www.alicemcveigh.com/newsletter/
(Other social media here: https://www.linktr.ee/ASTMcVeigh)
Finally, don’t get bombed. As our aged dogsitter puts at the end of her every email – “Stay well. Stay safe. Stay sane.”
Yours,
Alice
PS Link to my latest interview, where I answer such questions as “Doesn’t it make you nervous writing dialogue for such iconic Austen characters as Jane Fairfax?” https://www.forewordreviews.com/articles/article/reviewer-vivian-turnbull-interviews-alice-mcveigh-author-of-marianne-a-sense-and-sensibility-sequel/
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